Just Asking - the competitive world of charity events

Tomorrow is Red Nose Day here in the UK. But don't be fooled by the name into thinking this annual fundraising event is just a single day. For weeks now celebrities have been taking part in challenges like rafting the length of the Zambezi or doing 25-hour comedy gigs. One Direction have released a charity single. Red noses are being sold in shops and online; this year they're called Dinosesaurs and there are three different ones to collect. And we're all being encouraged to get involved and 'do something funny for money'.

Comic Relief, the charity behind Red Nose Day, have been doing fantastic work - and keeping us all entertained - for 25 years, and I have nothing but respect for anyone who raises money for charity. I recently sponsored several of my colleagues who ran a half marathon, and bought tickets for a charity raffle last year, despite literally never having won a raffle prize in my life (including the time when every single member of my family won something except me - this was 20 years ago but it still hurts).

I don't have much recent experience of fundraising, although I did once help my friend raise money for her sponsored trek in China - as I recall it involved standing outside Sainsbury's with a collecting bucket, singing songs from The Lion King, and hugging some old people (not all at the same time). But I wanted to know how, in a world where we can't turn on the TV or even walk down the street without being asked to donate to one charity or another, you can convince people to part with their hard-earned cash and support you, and your particular cause, instead of someone else. So I asked around and these were some of the tips I got:

Firstly, choose a charity that means something to you. That way you'll be able to speak passionately about it to people and explain to them how their money can make a difference. You may find that your charity has a special significance for them too, and they have their own story to share. If that's the case, be prepared to listen. It shows you're interested in the cause, and you're not just after their money.

Set yourself a target; be ambitious but realistic. Show your appreciation for any donation, no matter how much it is - it all takes you closer to your goal, and even a small donation may be a lot of money to the person giving it. Offer incentives; a colleague recently promised to run 10k barefoot (literally) if he raised a certain amount in sponsorship. Bleeding feet aren't exactly an incentive - but you get the idea. You could offer something a bit more tempting, like free chocolate for anyone who helps get you over your target amount, for example.

Know when to take no for an answer. A lot of people already donate money to other charities on a regular basis so they have a rule against any additional giving. Others may just not want to sponsor you, and that's their decision - it is their money, after all, and finances are tight for many people at the moment. If you're face to face with someone, observe their body language and know when to back off.

And of course, you need to spread the word. Start with your friends, family and work colleagues, or anyone who you think is likely to donate a decent amount, as it's easier to keep fundraising if you're off to a good start. Then you can start going further: use your social networks like Facebook and Twitter, mention it in forums or online communities, ask your family and friends to tell their friends, put up posters or hand out flyers, add it to your email signature. And there's no harm tweeting your favourite celebrities to see if they'll pass on your request - it might get you a few more pounds!

Be different. If you are hoping to reach a wider audience, the more unusual (and difficult) your event, and the better your story, the more likely you are to get noticed and make headlines. Louise and Geoff, from London, spent the night before their wedding sleeping rough to raise funds for a homeless charity. Australian Nick Le Soeuf locked himself in a shop window for three weeks with 300 poisonous spiders for a children's charity. And New Yorker Sheena Matheiken wore the same dress every day for a year to help children in India. (An unusual charity event also looks great on your CV...)

Thank you to all those who shared their advice. Incidentally, I hope to take part in a marathon later this year (walking, not running - let's not get carried away) so I may well be putting this into practice before too long. You have been warned...

Extreme job hunting - the new normal?

When I mentioned to a colleague that I was starting this blog, he suggested I should write about the UK graduate who spent his last £500 on a billboard in London begging someone to give him a job. Adam Pacitti, who got a first class degree in Media Studies, had sent out over 200 job applications without success, so decided extreme measures were called for. The billboard immediately got picked up on Twitter and his website got 20,000 hits within 24 hours. It took a few weeks, but the investment paid off and Adam's now employed.

I thought I'd see if there were any other examples of this kind of thing, and discovered that not only are there examples - there are loads of them. Nick Begley from New York printed his resume on a chocolate bar wrapper and sent it out to potential employers. Ulrike Schultz from Vienna asked her Twitter followers to help her find a job in London by putting the hashtag #HireUlrike on all their tweets. And in 2009, Alex Kearns, another UK graduate, managed to secure an hour on a plinth in Trafalgar Square to promote his job search.

All these are brilliant examples of using creativity to stand out from the crowd, and it's no surprise that the majority of these 'extreme job hunters', as they've become known in the media, come from marketing, communications or advertising backgrounds. By thinking outside the box, they're proving to potential employers in those industries what they can do.

But it does make me think - how far are we from the day when submitting a regular paper application for a job won't be enough any more? All these ideas sound great and really original, but in my first few minutes of research for this post I'd already found two other examples of people hiring a billboard in order to get noticed by employers. It might be out-of-the-box thinking today, but in a few years' time (or even less) will it only be possible to find a job if we're willing to take such a drastic step? And if everyone's doing it, then it's not a gimmick any more and instead of standing out, we'll just be blending in. Billboards will be the new printed CV. And so it goes on.

Incidentally, there's one more example of people going to extraordinary lengths to find a job - popular BBC TV show The Apprentice, in which candidates battle it out in a series of gruelling 'business tasks' to impress The Boss, Lord Alan Sugar. And yet Stella English, who won the show in 2010, has been in court over the last couple of weeks, telling an employment tribunal that in fact the dream job she competed for never existed and she ended up as an 'overpaid lackey'. So maybe it's not always worth going that extra mile unless you know what you're getting at the end of it.

If anyone does fancy giving extreme job hunting a try, though, Adam Pacitti is now using his Employ Adam website to offer help to others in a similar situation. And he might even make you famous. You never know.

Too many fish in the sea

Online dating is pretty big business these days. Any time you turn on the TV or travel on public transport, there seem to be ads everywhere for Match.com, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish and even Uniform Dating. It appears that the stigma associated with meeting someone online is well and truly forgotten.

In 2009, eHarmony claimed that on average 542 people were getting married in the US every day as a result of meeting on the site. I personally know quite a few people who either met their partner online, are currently online or thinking about going online. And yes, I have tried it myself too.

But with so many people signing up (according to their homepage, POF reckon they have 50,000 new singles registering every day), how on earth are you meant to stand out enough to get noticed?

Now, please bear in mind that I haven't met the love of my life online, but I do know what it is that's grabbed my attention, so here are my tips on how to make a good impression:

PROFILE PICTURE

I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't start with the picture but let's face it, most people do. If you don't have a good picture, chances are potential matches aren't going to click on your profile. For your main profile pic, a head and shoulders shot is ideal, particularly if it shows you having a good time somewhere. (Although maybe not one of you and your ex...) A series of photos of you taking pictures of yourself in the mirror, however - not so good. It looks like you have no friends to take a photo for you, and you never go anywhere interesting. Pictures with a story to them are the best, as it gives you something to talk about.

TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF

Nobody likes doing this bit. In fact a lot of profiles start with the words 'What do I put here?' or 'This is really difficult.' You don't need to write a lot, just make whatever you do write interesting and intriguing enough to make someone want to contact you. Please don't lead with 'I like going out and I like staying in.' So does everyone. Say where you like to go out, describe an unusual hobby, talk about your last holiday and something funny that happened. Throw in a few random facts about yourself, they're always fun and they show you've got a sense of humour. But try and draw the line between a bit random and completely mad!

BE PROACTIVE

Don't just browse profiles waiting for someone to notice you. If you see someone you like, go for it. What do you have to lose? It's online so it's not like approaching someone in a bar where everyone's watching. Sure, it might be a bit disappointing if you've got your hopes up and the other person doesn't reply, but nobody will know except you. And you might just find they've been waiting for you to get in touch with them...

FIRST MESSAGE

If you've found someone you're interested in, sadly, just as in real life, it doesn't mean that they're automatically going to be interested in you. Especially if you send them a forgettable message like 'Hi, how was your day?' Just as you should when applying for jobs, read their profile, pick up on anything that particularly interests you and mention that. Ask questions to show you're interested. For instance, I'm in a book club, so an obvious question would be to ask me what we're reading this month. I'm happy to talk about that because it's something I enjoy and it means the guy's paid a bit of attention to what I've written. Also, don't send the same message to more than one person (especially if that message is 'Luuuuussssssshhhhhhh' - yes, that happened) - chances are, especially if they're local, they may know each other (this also happened)!

DON'T BE A PEST/STALKER

If you get a reply to your message, great! You've successfully broken through and stood out from the crowd, and now you can get on to the fun part of getting to know each other. But don't get noticed for the wrong reason. If you've sent a message and not got a reply, don't nag. There may be a perfectly legitimate reason, or they just may not be interested. Accept it gracefully and move on.

So those are my hints on how to stand out online. Once you get to the chatting and meeting up part, you're on your own...

Any online dating success stories? What attracted you to your partner?

When in doubt... fake it.

Setting up this blog has got me thinking about confidence. Even when drafting my first post, I was already apologising for it not being very good (my sister had to point out the irony there). It's not because I necessarily didn't think it was any good; I just wanted to cover myself in advance and lower everyone's expectations. Just in case.

Which brings me to today's words of wisdom - if you don't believe in yourself, nobody else will. This is a cliché that gets thrown about all over the place, from self-help books to The X Factor. But it's true. When you're marketing a product, if you're not convinced it's worth buying, then you're not going to persuade anyone else. And the same goes for yourself. Why would someone give you a job, go out with you or do anything else you ask them to if you don't even think that they should?

So what can you do? Some people just aren't that confident. I know I'm not. I'm constantly surprised when someone laughs at my joke, likes something I've done at work or tells me I look nice today. I've always been that way and it seems unlikely that now, at the grand old age of 30, I'm going to have a complete personality transplant. So how do I convince people I believe in myself, and in turn, make them believe in me?

And the answer, apparently, is - fake it.

Or so says Amy Cuddy in this video from TED.com. Her theory is that our body language has an impact not only on how other people see us, but also on how we see ourselves.

Amy's conducted experiments which prove that by taking a confident, relaxed and open body position for just two minutes, we're more likely to feel powerful and successful, because it affects the hormone levels in our brain that affect dominance and stress. She then goes on to look at how the result of those experiments can be applied to real life situations like job interviews.

Her point is that in fact we can change, but it won't happen overnight; first we have to fake it. If we can use our bodies to convince our minds that we're confident and we belong, no matter what stressful situation we find ourselves in, over time we'll forget that we're faking and we'll end up believing. In Amy's words: 'not fake it till you make it, but fake it till you become it'.

I'm not completely convinced, although there's no arguing with the science - at least not by me! - and Amy Cuddy herself is a pretty inspiring lady (check out her story towards the end of the talk or read her bio). But she does make it sound a little bit too easy. Still, in that case maybe I've nothing to lose by trying it out. Who's with me? ;)

PS A friend recently sent me this cartoon. Maybe there's something in all this after all...?

How to get your CV thrown out in one easy step

Ok, so first things first, the promised guide on what you should and shouldn't do when applying for jobs.

This is my own personal rant based on my experience of sifting through CVs, but I'm fairly sure the rules apply universally.

First and foremost, the golden rule:

READ THE AD.

Yes, this should be common sense. I always put a question at the end of ads, asking applicants to tell me something interesting about themselves when they apply. This is dual purpose - I genuinely want to know the answer, to get an idea about the kind of person they are, but also if they don't answer the question, then they didn't read the ad properly. We advertised a job a couple of years ago and out of over 200 applicants, only two answered this question. Everyone else was rejected.

Also, look out for specific details like the name of the person recruiting. This is another little test that I put in job ads - if the applications still come in addressed to 'Sir/Madam' or 'Manager' that doesn't bode well.

APPLY FOR THE RIGHT JOB.

It's amazing how often I get covering letters applying for a position I haven't advertised. My favourite was when I posted a finance job and someone applied wanting to be a paralegal. The same goes for 'I want to work at ...' This is great as long as you put the right company name...

WRITE A DECENT COVERING LETTER.

First of all, remember to include a covering letter, don't just send your CV on its own. Secondly, don't send a generic 'I believe my skills can be of great use to your company' letter. Show that you've taken note of the company, Googled them and now have some understanding, however vague, of what it is they do. Then explain why you're the ideal person to work with them on that. And don't start every sentence with 'I', it ends up reading like a list and that's a good way to make a recruiter's eyes glaze over.

TAKE YOUR TIME.

Whenever our company posts a job, I know that within minutes (or even seconds) I'll have applications flooding in. There's nothing wrong with looking keen, but if you're able to dash off an application that quickly then it's obvious you're applying for everything and haven't put a lot of thought in to your application, which doesn't go down well - companies like to feel special (the same rule applies when online dating - but more on that later). Getting in first won't do you any favours and might even damage your chances of getting any further.

CHECK OVER YOUR CV.

Assuming you've observed all the above rules, the next step a recruiter will take is to look at your CV. If it's a mess, all your hard work on the covering letter will be wasted. Not everyone's great on the computer, but if you're not able to do it yourself, ask a friend or use a template. Try to keep it concise; nobody wants to read a ten-page list of your achievements since you were five years old. Lay it out nicely, and check you've not gone one line over on to a new page, especially if that line happens to be something really important.

SPELL CHECK EVERYTHING.

There's no excuse for poor spelling and grammar, and being a bit particular on that front, I will more than likely reject any applications that have more than a couple of errors. You'd have to really impress me on all other fronts to get away it.

THINK ABOUT WHO'S READING.

Finally, when applying for jobs, have a little bit of sympathy for the poor person (i.e. me) who has to sit and go through all the applications. Recruitment is not a fun job - it's tedious and frustrating, and if your CV can break that monotony, you're far more likely to progress. Try and put across your personality and enthusiasm in your application, because at the end of the day, we want to work with people, not machines.

If you can think of any more do's and don'ts, or have committed any of these sins, let me know in the comment box. I promise not to judge (too much).

What are we doing here?

Hello and thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you'll be glad you did.

So why am I (and you) here? (Reading this I mean, not generally - that's a whole other blog.)

Well, it started at work where, among other things, I look after the filtering of job applications whenever we're recruiting. And every time, I get really annoyed and start ranting at my long-suffering colleagues. Why? Because all the applications are the same. And they all make the same mistakes. And it means when a good application does actually arrive, it makes me stupidly happy. Which in turn makes me sad.

Knowing how to make your CV stand out from everyone else's should be common sense, but obviously it isn't - and I'm fairly sure I made some of these mistakes myself before I saw the process from the other side. So I thought I'd write the definitive rule book on what to do (and what NOT to do) to market yourself and be different - in a good way - and hopefully get hired as a result.

Then it occurred to me - this doesn't just apply to jobs. There are so many areas of life where we need to stand out in order to succeed. As any of my friends will tell you, this is not an area that I tend to excel in. In fact, if anything my special skill is blending in to the background. So as I go along, I'll be attempting to follow my own advice (something else I've never been great at) and would love to hear your tips, opinions and comments as well.